Beer Glasses: Size Matters

beer glass

I have only one beer glass that’s worth a dipper of piss.  It’s a glass I got from the beer store one time when there was some promotion for Molson Canadian on, and they gave away a big glass with “Canadian” (surprise, surprise) and some maple leaves etched into the side.  It’s the one glass I own that not only holds a full beer, but also has a little extra room for clam juice – or foam, if I’m in the state of being in which I no longer pour carefully.  My glass and I are a team on the weekends.  Oh the fun we have!

Enter the kale-guzzling, wheat germ drinking, yoga pant clad kids.  They need to stay hydrated at all costs.  So they open up the cupboard and rummage about for  a suitable vessel from which to quench their thirsts.  They push aside all the lesser glasses, ones that could easily hold enough water to replenish their needs from their latest zumba class, pointless kayak adventure or hike up the Chief.  But NO!, they dig in the cupboard where my one hefty mug is cowering in fear in the back row, like the tall kid in the elementary school class picture, and fill it with filtered water.  Then, to add insult to injury, they take a couple of timid sips and leave it on the counter, three quarters full and dirty, where I have to come along and put it in the dishwasher for them.  Of course, that wasted water goes on my semi-monthly water bill, too, if you want to split hairs.  If this scenario had only happened once or twice I could let it go, but it’s become a regular thing.
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Let this be a lesson: if you get all worked up, for god’s sake use a condom.  You will thank me later.  Or buy a second good beer glass, whatever works for you.

Condoms are cheaper.