Category: Random Stories

I haven’t written anything in quite a while.  That’s an opening sentence I’ve used a few times, sort of my version of ‘once upon a time.’  When I started writing this blog, I thought of it as a way to get out of my comfort zone and be a little more interactive and expressive.  I think my desire to be expressive comes in waves, and the last six months or so has been the trough between waves – the low point in the cycle.  But I think the time has come to get back out of my comfort zone and interact a little bit.

That said, I don’t really have anything pressing to say.  I’m as disgusted with Trump as I’ve always been, but I’m becoming numb to the constant bullshit and idiotic, often racist, rants.  He hasn’t accomplished anything.  The only thing he can brag about is the record high stock market, which he didn’t actually do.  If the weather is good this summer, he will probably take credit for that too, and his half wit yokel supporters will believe it.

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I’ve had my fill of winter.  It has hardly snowed or even gotten cold really, but the weather is grey and bleak and clammy.  The days are short and mostly gloomy, and I haven’t sat on my patio and had a beer in months.  We live indoors this time of year, dashing from the house to the car and back when necessary, but huddling in the warmth the vast majority of the time.  There is a little songbird that comes around in early spring.  It has a distinctive two note mating call that is the soundtrack of the season.  I have no idea what bird it is, maybe you know and could tell me?  The other day I heard the little song, so I know spring is not far off.  That first day I drive home from work with the window down and the radio on, and I get home and start the barbecue is probably only four or five weeks away now.  Hallelujah!

Well here I am alone again.  Actually I’m not completely alone, I am sort of baby sitting my grand daughter but she’s asleep, so my child-minding duties are pretty much making sure the house doesn’t catch fire and keeping quiet.  So far, so good.  I thought this might be a good time to write something, even though there is nothing pressing to be written.  I guess I can just jump around and ramble and change topics at will.

Today’s big news is that Trump is going to take the USA out of the Paris climate agreement.  Now he and his fossil fuel cronies can get the country back to good ol’ American polluting.  Woe to you, land, when your king is a child!

I don’t see myself as any sort of a salesman, but if I had to sell something, I’d go for selling particle colliders.  At about $5 billion a pop, I’d work on a 1% commission which would net me $50 million.  It would be a hard sell, but I’d really only need to sell one.  The people who design and build them must need a field rep once in a while.

I’ve only gone kayaking a couple times, but it doesn’t seem like much fun.  Sure, it probably gets better when you can get somewhere efficiently without an uncoordinated splashing display of physical nerdiness, but I’m not in any position to know.  My wife and I had to kayak in Mexico, and the tour guide hinted that there may be alligators in the water.  We were so completely useless as a rowing team that the gators would never have eaten us, surely we were sick and unpalatable, although they no doubt stared in disbelief.

If I got sentenced to house arrest, does the prison still feed me?  If they didn’t, I think I would have to complain about the unfair treatment.  I’d take my case to the Supreme Court and cost the country so much money they’d be begging to feed me!  Thanks goodness not too many people read this or someone might get the idea to try it.

In politics closer to home, the NDP and the Green party are going to put their numbers together and form an alliance to run British Columbia.  First thing on the agenda: cancel the Kinder Morgan pipeline expansion and the new Site C dam project.  While that might be ecologically better for us, that will be the end of thousands of jobs and billions of dollars in investment.  I like the NDP on principle, but they cost too much.  They are like that car you can’t afford.  Fun fact: last time the NDP was in power in BC, our province’s economy ranked #59 in North America out of 60 jurisdictions – 10 provinces and 50 states.  Only one backwater slough in the deep south (Mississippi?) had a more sluggish economy.  It was the only time that BC’s population was decreasing, due to people leaving to find work.  But here comes a new golden age in puffing pot, watching marbled murrelets and ending sentences with the word “man.”  Think positively, we could have Trump as a leader.
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The marbled murrelet is a little sea bird that nests in tall trees, incidentally.  The Sierra Club and local conservationalists in Oregon practically shut down their forest industry to protect the bird, even though, according to a forest rep I spoke with “there is a murrelet in every f’-ing tree.”

 

 

 

Hello again.  I haven’t written anything in quite a while.  The reason is, I got Civilization VI for my birthday, and all my spare time since then has been used (wasted?) playing it.  It’s an interesting game, but it’s no substitute for an actual life.  So now that I have surfaced for air, I am going to put my two cents in on some things.

The most eye catching goings on of the last two months are, as usual, south of the border, where dictatorship seems to be taking hold.  First, Trump has appointed all manner of racists and over the top Christian zealots to key positions in government.  Second, King Cheeto has denounced journalists as lying and picking on him, and is now starting to ban the press from his briefings.  Third, political commentary and satire has been branded “mean spirited,” and denounced.  Whoo!  I sure wish I lived in a free country like America!  The latest shot out of left field is Trump’s assertion that Obama bugged his cell phone before he left office so he could eavesdrop on the new administration – without a shred of proof, of course.  I am sort of hoping Obama sues him for defamation of character, as he should have done when The Donald said he created ISIS.

I think in all this ongoing circus, the thing that gets me the angriest is Trump’s treatment of journalists.  I took journalism in college and despite never having done it for a living, I still think of myself as a part of the profession.  Journalists are taught to adhere to strict codes of conduct when reporting.  The story, as reported, is supposed to be honest, fair and in the public interest.  The USA theoretically protects the freedom of the press in the first amendment, along with freedom of speech and peaceful assembly, but when the president is of such delicate composition that every critical word hurts his little feelings, these freedoms are being threatened.  It isn’t quite Nazi Germany and the Ministry of Propaganda, but it is nudging that direction.

The truth isn’t always an absolute, sometimes different points of view are valid.  Most times, however, the truth is an absolute.  Take the crowd size of Trump’s swearing in ceremony: he says it was the largest ever, when clearly it wasn’t.  Same with his claims on unemployment, climate change and crime – they are proven wrong by available data.  His idea of “alternate facts” is basically twisting the truth to satisfy his followers and in so doing, picking a fight with a noble profession.  I have seen his fans on line claiming that people who listen to mainstream news are sheeple.  Do his alt-right people who write these things think Trump is a credible news source?  That he is in a position to oppose glaring truths like Kim Jong-Il?  Do they believe Mr Silver Spoon has seen through the veil of lies that is the news media?  Is he leading them to the Truth?  The real sheeple are the poorly educated masses who don’t have the critical thinking skills necessary to assess specious arguments and half truths; those people who feel undervalued and possess skill sets that they don’t see as being useful in the future.  Those are the people who have nothing to lose by throwing out immigrants and embracing ideas with potentially disastrous consequences like believing climate change is a hoax.  The trailer park has assumed power!  And since it likely won’t ever happen again, they’re going to make it count.  First order of business: do away with the critics.
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I wouldn’t spend as much time worrying about all of this, but the world is pretty small now.  Madness in a world power concerns everyone, and unhappy, suspicious masses everywhere might embrace it.  People’s immune systems are not designed at birth to repel bad ideas, especially ones with lots of catchy phrases and wild promises.

 

I don’t want to be bitter, but this was a pretty sub-par holiday season.  I was booked off of work from the 23rd of December until the 3rd of January, but to get the disappointment started, I was given a bunch of work on the 23rd right before quitting time that was due on the 3rd.  I started getting sick around this time, too.  My last couple days of work I was so tired I barely made it home.  We decided not to exchange gifts this year, so there was a weird giftless vacuum Christmas morning.  Our dinner plans for Christmas fell through at the last minute, so we wound up staying home which upset a certain member of my family who was a little pissed we didn’t come to his place.  In reality, we were doing serious basement renos and I spent Christmas pulling down drywall.  I even came to my turkey dinner in work clothes covered in drywall dust, possibly asbestos-laced.

The next day I was sick as hell but we had people coming over, so I had to stay upright as much as possible.  The angry family member stood us up to get even, and it snowed really hard which sent the people who did show up home early to avoid getting in snow mayhem on the way home.  On the 27th I went out to do some of the work I had to get done, but I was so weak and miserable not much got done.  I had to read some water meters, but the side streets were icy and the meter lids were frozen shut and buried in snow.  The next day I tried again, but this time I bailed out after a few hours and went to the doctor who said I have bronchitis and assigned me some holiday mood killing antibiotics.  Our computer guy informed us about this time that our hard drive was dead and several years of family pictures and 1,000 or so songs had been erased.

The next couple days were a blur of sleeping, waking, taking medicine, and feeling like crap.  On New Year’s Eve we drove 50 km or so into South Surrey to a party, but it was snowing heavily and the road crews were off getting pissed or something because no plowing or sanding was going on.  For the three hours we spent eating fancy pickles and playing parlour games, we spent about four hours or more driving.  Today I’m feeling much better, but it’s a holiday and a Sunday, and other members of the household are now sick so it became another sitting around staying quiet, bored out of my tree sort of day.  Tomorrow is my dad’s birthday, so a bunch of us are gathering to wish him well.  This will likely be the highlight of my eleven day winter oasis.
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I referenced our basement renovation earlier.  We have the walls vapour barriered and framed, and some of the laminate flooring is in.  What we lacked at the start of Christmas was electrical work and drywall.  Our foolproof plan was to have the electrician come over a couple times to get his work done, then have my brother in law come over to help us insulate, then the drywaller guy was scheduled for the 29th.  Ha!  Our electrician cancelled a few times, then came over briefly, then finally came back for a full day, but this was already after the 29th and I think the drywaller has given up on us and moved on.  My brother in law could have come over to help insulate today, but he was called in to work because of the snow, so that is off.  I doubt much is going to happen tomorrow, so the whole project has fallen at least a couple weeks behind in just a week and a half.  Let me say, I’m not angry about it with anyone, but the destruction we are living with is disheartening, especially when everyone is sick.  As I write this, I can hear my daughter’s boyfriend coughing up a lung downstairs.  He has the family plague, and if anything gets done tomorrow it will be with us tippy toeing around his sleeping carcass.

Happy 2017!  Last year ended badly for me, but I feel things are likely to improve soon.  I am worried about the new year, but often what you’re worried about never happens.  I hope this is true of 2017.  A rich biker gang has taken over the US presidency, what could go wrong?

A little while ago I posted an article on Facebook that talked about the fact that liberal people tend to be more intelligent and higher educated than conservative people.  I remember hearing about this in high school and in Political Science lectures in college, so I knew it was the tendency and I posted it to get a rise out of some really conservative people I know.  (Key words here are “tend” and “tendency,” as anyone could think of some good exceptions, maybe even my FB friends.)  The question I had never asked was why?

This came up as a result of the Trump election, of course, in reminding my conservative Facebook friends that the destruction of education in the USA has led to an idiot being elected.  It was a little bit of a sour grapes move on my part, as I was pretty disappointed in mankind for a few days there, and will probably be again for long stretches of the next four years.  Data from the election shows this education tendency clearly: voters without higher education voted more than two to one for Trump.  People who earned over $100k, the business elite, billionaires?  They favoured Clinton 20 to one!

First I found a simple definition of what the difference was between liberal and conservative people: conservatives look after themselves and don’t want to give or receive any help from others or society.  Liberals want to help others and make social safety nets that don’t allow anyone – in theory – to starve.  The reason the liberal way of thinking is a product of intelligence is that it goes beyond the caveman mentality of hoarding your stuff.  Liberal thinking isn’t natural, it’s learned and reflects man’s progress in becoming a social creature.  We have advanced to the point now where we don’t have to leave the old and the sick on the trail to be eaten by predators.

You’ll get fast shipping at the speed of change else we are ought to be left out from the condition, which make you feeling humiliated in the cheap viagra in india bed. There are some nutritional products and herbal medicines that can help you to treat an browse around this viagra from canadian pharmacies ailment naturally. Those feelings can interfere with performance,’ says the American Psychological Association. sildenafil 50mg tablets It supplies adequate blood to all unica-web.com online cialis canada body parts and improves the blood flow into the male penile region which leads to penis enlargement. I don’t mean to insult anyone.  Fact is, I have some conservative tendencies myself.  I think there is a stratum of society that uses the safety net as a way of life, getting fed and housed without actually having to go earn it.  Maybe parasites are just a fact of nature?  But I do lean liberal for the most part, even though in the parlance of the conservative I am no doubt a cowardly, frail communist who whines a lot.  Not really, but I have been reading a lot of internet “discussions,” all of which immediately deteriorate into profanity and name calling.  Liberals are cry-babies and conservatives are Nazis – and internet trolls are ready to pounce.

This is a topic that has probably been elaborated on in full length books, so my little overly-simple explanation is practically a stick figure drawn in crayon by comparison.  It is, however, the answer to a question I should have asked a long time ago.

 

“No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.”  – H.L. Mencken

I was looking for a quick way of assessing the word usage level of certain dialogues.  I wasn’t successful at finding anything quick – maybe someone should invent one? – so I’ll have to forge ahead making guesses and assumptions.

A long time irritant for me has been Ford commercials, especially for their trucks.  The ads contain almost nothing but one syllable words, often delivered in an in-your-face grunt.  They are, I am guessing, what old Mr Mencken was talking about in his column in 1926 when he said no one went broke underestimating intelligence.  The latest batch of Ford truck ads are using the word “undisputed,” which is a whopping four syllables, but still conveys a tough guy swagger as the word is best known for its description of a fighter who has conquered everyone.  Even allowing for this exception, my guess at the word usage level for these ads would be about grade 5.  Gearing your advertisements towards people with a low reading/comprehension level isn’t hurting Ford too much, as their trucks are on every street you look at, having been the highest selling truck for 50 straight years.

There are numerous pills that are widely demanded for their effectiveness such as Kamagra, Caverta and on line cialis . This saves you online prescription viagra without money and is a confidential service. The tablets are safe, modern and improved remedy of relieving cialis cheap online male disorder easily. The Gateway to 10,000 Illnesses describes in straightforward and largely non-technical language the levitra without prescription core mechanism – the engine – of what makes us tick and his conclusions on why this hitherto little understood area is essential for addressing almost any disorder. It is well documented that the education system of the USA has been churning out grads who are nearly illiterate for some time.  I don’t want to pick on Americans, as I’m sure the same is true in other countries as well.  In Canada no one ever seems to fail a grade any more.  If you show up most of the time you will get your participation ribbon/grade 12 diploma.  It’s just that we hear so much more about the Americans and how they’ve fallen into 20th place or so in most subjects when compared to other advanced industrial countries.  So Ford is only following Mencken’s advice and not getting people with poor vocabularies all mixed up with that there fancy language.

Which brings me to Donald Trump.  The Language Technologies Institute at Carnegie Mellon University rates Trump at about grade 4 usage, the lowest of any candidate in the 2016 election cycle.  (I heard that during the debates when he was speaking off the cuff it dropped to a grade 3 level.)  Although, to be fair, the highest usage level was only the 10th grade wordiness of Bernie Sanders.  All the candidates must be careful not to alienate the “plain people,” as that would surely not get anyone a majority of votes.  Like the Ford truck, the Trump brand is not being hurt by keeping it simple.  As of today he is slightly behind Hillary Clinton in the polls, but there is lots of time left to catch up.

If democracy is a true method of bringing the will of the people to the ballot box, then maybe a poorly educated mass should elect a poorly spoken candidate.  There is also a correllation between education levels and where a person votes along liberal-conservative lines, with the better educated tending towards liberalism.  Of course, there are exceptions like the brilliant conservative William F. Buckley, but the trend is fairly consistent.  So a poorly spoken conservative should be a winning combination in today’s world.  How else could you get mass appeal for an arrogant billionaire who promises tax cuts to the rich?

Oh well, it isn’t my country or my election, but it does dominate the news.  I also don’t feel any smugness about it happening elsewhere.  The Canadian Trump might be Kevin O’Leary, and he has expressed interest in running as a Conservative and cites Trump as an inspiration.  Stay tuned for the Great White North edition!

I’m sure Burns Lake is a nice place.  I don’t think I’ve ever been there, unless it happened when I was very young.  It is a small town of about 2,000 people, several hours from anywhere.  It’s the sort of place a person might go to load up on moose and fish.  It happens to hold the record for the most sunshine in a month by any B.C. town, set in 1982. Anyway, my concern with the town is their lopsided number of lottery wins.  The provincial lottery corporation runs a 50/50 draw that draws four times a day, and often smaller towns like Powell River and Kamloops (which is not exactly tiny at 75,000) win more than their share, but statistically the king is Burns Lake.

 

 

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To win a dollar on the 50/50, theoretically you must spend two dollars.  So either the 2,000 people have spent $300,000 on it in the last year and a half, or they are experiencing an elongated period of luck.  My guess would be that most of the winning has been done by a small number of people who faithfully spend a large sum every day.  Even if a person was spending $100 each morning on his way to work and was winning a small number of draws, it may be paying off.  That person would be coming out ahead even if he only won once every two weeks.  In June the town averaged almost $700 in winnings each day, including days they didn’t win any draws.

I was tempted to phone a gas station or two from Burns Lake before I wrote this, see if they have any locals spending wildly or if it’s a fad in town that lots of people participate in, but I decided not to.  I think I’m worried I will mess up their winning streak by snooping around.

 

“The Foole doth thinke he is wise, but the wiseman knowes himselfe to be a Foole.”

• Shakespeare, As You Like It

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The Dunning-Kruger Effect is the inability of low intelligence people to correctly assess their skill at certain tasks.  The effect was experimentally ‘proven’ in 1999, and the authors of the prevailing study were awarded an IgNoble Prize for their work, sort of a mock Nobel prize for minor accomplishments.  The idea is that people who aren’t especially bright often think they are wonderful at everything they do, while highly intelligent people tend to believe themselves to be only average, as though the difficult things they excel at are easy for everyone.  It turns out that the lack of general intelligence also makes people very poor at assessing their own level of competence.  I think we can all think of examples of a dimwit who is full of unearned confidence and a smart person who is full of excessive doubt.

One hopes that along the way the highly confident but not very bright person gets a reality check and realizes their shortcomings.  For example, if a person of unreasonable confidence had a string of bankruptcies and failed marriages, it might dawn on them that they are not great with people or money.  You would hope.  If that person, for example, spouted off a daily stream of public rants that were laughable in their simple ingorance of the truth, you would hope that the people who critiqued those rants would get through the thick head of the ranter who would, you would hope, either do a little reading or shut up.  You would hope a person that dumb would not become a public figure, and really hope that if they did something stupid like run for president, millions of people wouldn’t fall for his or her empty ramblings.  No, in the case of Donald Trump, his Dunning-Kruger filter on the world remains firmly in place.  The daily reality checks bounce off his cheezie-coloured noggin like a bullet off a superhero.

If it were just for comedy, Trump would be a great gag.  Unfortunately, he is racist, mysoginistic, mean spirited, devoid of any sense of the modern world and a bullying, cheating douchebag.  And immensely popular.  He’s an orange, wind-tussled Archie Bunker who wants to default on America’s debts and let more jobs go to third world countries.  Really?  That gets you whose vote, exactly?  Not to mention the ridiculous wall.  Not only would that idiotic wall cost a fortune – they could probably find the money if they plunder the education budget, who needs that? – but it would be a symbol of intolerance and not much more.  Let’s hope no Mexicans own a plane, a boat, a shovel, a sledgehammer or a ladder.  And doesn’t it seem a tad inconsistent that those raping, thieving Mexicans are working in his hotels?

To be fair, I’m not completely sold on what the Democrats are cooking up either.  In fact it’s been quite a while since I saw a candidate on either side of the 49th parallel that I had total faith in.  My favourite of the 2016 batch in the US is Bernie Sanders, but he doesn’t appear to have a chance.  Besides, he is so out there he’s like a guy hoping to turn the US into Denmark.  I worry if he overcomes the odds and wins the nomination that someone might kill him.  He’s pretty old, a really strong glass of prune juice might do the trick, but let me say it now: I’m not cleaning that up.

I was just doing some light reading after work, and I came across this puzzling article on Msn.ca taken from the Independant.

http://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/woman-vows-to-take-gun-into-target-discount-store-bathrooms-to-protect-herself-from-transgender-people/ar-BBsjaUy?li=AAggv0m

The gist, if you have decided to skip reading the whole thing, is that a woman in the US, Anita Staver, is planning to take a .45 calibre Glock with her into the bathroom at a Target store so she can protect herself (and others) from the wave of perverts who are going to enter the ladies washroom as transgenders.  She figures perverted men are going to start raping women in the store washrooms, which would seem like a pretty risky undertaking, even without armed vigilantes laying in ambush.  Maybe she should stake out frat parties and hiking trails?

Anyway, my first reaction was that this person may have some unused brain cells loafing around her skull.  Turns out she’s a lawyer, so she was at least clever enough to pass a bar exam.  Then came the answer: she’s a Christian lawyer!  She will be cocked and loaded to protect all that is clean and good in God’s favourite country.

As a good Christian, she has probably skimmed by problematic phrases like “thou shalt not kill,” “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” “love thy enemy,” “don’t judge lest ye be judged” and “turn the other cheek,”  but she has decided to ignore those and interpret things her way.  Those aren’t central tenets of the faith or anything, just suggestions from the Appendix chapters.  And in case anyone read those lines and took it to mean Christianity was intended to be peaceful, we have Ms Staver to thank for setting us straight about that.
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I had a lot of Christian dogma come my way in my 12 years of Catholic schooling, but I can’t remember anything about using lethal force to exterminate people you think might be pissing off Jesus.  (Oh, even though you also believe he created them in His image and loves them.  Huh?)  I must have nodded off when that went by.

So here’s your warning, dirty perverts: if you start raping women in a busy washroom, in a busy store full of witnesses and cameras, using the crazy premise that you are transgender, Anita Staver and Jesus may be hunkering down in the next stall deciding who gets to scatter your filthy brains on the wall.  In self defense no less!

Amen.