I wrote a story about being mentally blank a while ago, mostly as it pertained to the interview I took to get my current job. Looking back, it was the beginning of something larger and scarier. For the next six weeks or so after that interview, I continued to get less and less focused. I was leaving things laying around, forgetting conversations I had just had, stuff like that. I once tried to get out of the car but couldn’t because my seat belt was still done up. If I put my keys in my pocket, I would basically do the Macarena where I had to stick my hand in every pocket twice to find them. Just before Christmas it got to its worse point. One morning I got to work and left the interior light on in my car and wandered off into the office. Of course, I needed a jump start after my shift. Then the next day I did almost exactly the same thing with my work truck and needed a jump, too. Then I threw away my work ID badge and fob by accident. I was frustrated, embarrassed and anxious. What was going on? Was I starting to suffer from Alzheimer’s? Few things in this world scare the crap out of me like dementia.
I was pleased to see that one of the early signs of Alzheimer’s was falling down frequently, which I didn’t have. I had some of the other symptoms, but not all of them. I researched side effects of the medicine I take for diabetes and found that the only one that listed “confusion, memory problems and trouble concentrating” was glyburide. Glyburide is an old drug, developed in the mid 1960’s, that stimulates insulin production. Coincidentally, not long before this I took a test to see how much insulin my body was producing, and it turns out it was producing a normal amount. My diabetes, according to the test, was due to insulin resistance. The question was, did I produce enough insulin to give up taking the drug?
Over Christmas I decided to take a little holiday from glyburide. Over the ten or so days off I watched in horror as my blood sugar went from 7 or 8 mmol/l, which is high but not crazy, to the 15-16 range, then up to 25-26 , then finally so high my monitor only read HI without giving a number. Normal blood sugar should be between 4 and 6. After a week or so I was forced to start taking my brain food again, but my mind was a lot clearer from being off it a while.
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And then… a few weeks later I lost my ID badge and fob again. This time it might just have been a one time thing, as it was an isolated incident, so far. Next month I see my doctor again, and this time she might prescribe me insulin like she’s been threatening, and it may mean I can do away with glyburide for good.
And then, god willing, I can get back to writing stuff and getting through the day without doing anything stupid.