Mel’s Alleged Hygiene Issues

I have written a lot of essays in my time, but very little poetry.  I tried to write poems, but for the most part they are awful.  I guess I’m some kind of realist, who knows?

The best poem I was ever involved with was created with my sister in the back of a 1960 Chevy station wagon during a family vacation when we were 5 or 6 years old.  I’m not really sure any more who came up with what, but I am pretty sure we both had a hand in its creation.  We were bouncing around in the back behind the back seats, and for some reason we were talking about our mom’s friend from work, Mel.  I don’t remember ever disliking Mel, or ever questioning his personal cleanliness, but here is that little diamond of a poem we wrote about him:

If you smell a smell

That smells like hell,

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It might be Mel.

Sadly, the Nobel Prize committee that selects the Literature award were unaware of our pointy little rhyme about Mel, otherwise they surely would have given us the award for that year.  Think of all the candy we could have purchased with the prize money!

I wonder if Mel ever got wind, so to speak, of our poem.  If he did, I never heard.  My niece once put up a picture of Mel Gibson in her room with this poem, hopefully with stink lines rising from his greasy mullet.  But I shouldn’t pick on Gibson, his creative life didn’t peak at the age of 5.

18 thoughts on “Mel’s Alleged Hygiene Issues”

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